I mean... I am that person, I just... there are parts of myself I never wanted anyone to see, you know? I could never really get angry, or let myself cry, I buried everything. I always had a laugh, a smile, a bad joke... because I had to be the girl propping everyone up.

[ she takes a deep breath, dragging a hand through her hair. ]

And then I died at 17 to save the world, because it was always going to end that way, and when people find out-- they talk about how strong I must be, or thank me, and it's just...